


That’s a Personal Weapon

by BrodyYoMama



Series: The trio get sent to hell. [2]
Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series), Shadow Warrior (Video Games)
Genre: HOLY FUCK this is racist, Lo Wang speaks like a stereotypical asian, Violence, katanas, stereotypes galore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25104205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrodyYoMama/pseuds/BrodyYoMama
Summary: Lo Wang decides to take the job at IMP, after his twin brother, Hung Lo, sends him to an alternate universe. This alternate universe turns out to be hell.Lo Wang, broke and homeless, decides to take his old job back.The job of kicking ass for money.Warning: yeah this story is kinda racist. But that's Lo Wang's character so don't blame me for it.Play Shadow Warrior. Good game.And Mike I know you’re probably seeing this. Yeah, it’s me. never mention this to anybody. This is personal business. Thanks!
Relationships: Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss)
Series: The trio get sent to hell. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818163
Kudos: 2





	1. Because Hell Sucks.

**WARNING!!!**

LO WANG, AS A CHARACTER, IS AN INCREDIBLY STEREOTYPICAL AND RACIST CARICATURE. 

THE POINT OF HIS CHARACTER IS NOT TO MAKE AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF ASIAN CULTURE, IT IS TO OVER-EXAGGERATE THE HELL OUT OF IT. 

DO NOT EXPECT ME TO MAKE HIS CHARACTER ANY LESS OF WHAT IT IS.

AFTER ALL, YOU DON'T GO TO METALLICA AND ASK THE FUCKERS TO TURN THE MUSIC DOWN.

SO IF YOU GET OFFENDED EASILY..

STOP READING!

Thank you!

"You no win this time, Hung Lo!" Lo Wang yelled at his brother.

"But that's where you wrong, Brother! I already win against you!" Hung Lo replied.

"How?!" Lo yelled.

"With this!" Hung yelled, and pulled out a device. "This a dimensional beam weapon! It send you to alternate universe!"

"What?!" Lo Wang yelled. He took out his katana and ran to his brother, but he was too slow.

His brother used the object, and Lo Wang was caught in the beam. He felt his body fold in on itself, compress, de-compress, stretch, and squish.

"AGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" He yelled. The pain was excruciating. 

But as quickly as it started, it ended. 

Lo Wang felt himself falling, before slamming hard into the ground. All the wind was knocked out of him.

He laid on the ground, desperately trying to force more air into his lungs. His mouth bled, and his head hurt.

"Sir, are you alright?!" Someone asked him. He didn't hear.

"Sir?" The person asked again. Lo slowly opened his eyes.

What he saw wasn't something he expected.

It was a girl. She was red-skinned, had black horns, and definitely wasn't human. There was some guy next to her that kind of looked like her, he guessed it was her brother or something.

"L-Lady, someone beat you wi' 'da ugly stick." He muttered. She stepped on his crotch.

"OOOHHH!!" He yelled out. The 'brother' stepped on his nuts too, and spit on him.

"Don't talk to my wife that way, you old man."

"Lo Wang not old! He only 54!" Lo Wang yelled out, still holding his crotch.

The couple walked away.

(THAT WAS NOT MILLIE AND MOXXIE! IT WAS JUST ANOTHER PAIR OF IMPS!)

Damn, he picked the wrong person to call ugly.

Person? 

Was she a person? He didn't know what she was. An alternate universe is called an alternate universe for a reason, but he had hoped this universe at least had other humans. 

His pain subsided enough for him to stand, and stand he did. He looked around the new environment.

It was... very red. These mysterious creatures lined the streets. He walked up to one.

"Hey! What species are you?" Lo Wang asked.

"Uh... I'm a demon, dude. As are you. Wait.. are you a demon? You look human."

"I am a human! But.. Demon?" 

The color red. The mysterious creatures. Nobody stopping to help him. Alternate universe beam.

"Am I in hell?" He asked the.. thing.

"Yes. You feeling alright man?"

Lo Wang walked away slowly. "I go rie down." He stopped when he saw a bench.

He sat down, and looked at the floor. Hell. Hell! He was in hell! Did the beam kill him?! Is this his punishment?!

How?! And why?! He was always the hero of the story, wasn't he?! 

Oh, wait. Assassination. That can land somebody in hell. 

Well he felt stupid. How did he forget about his entire career?

Yes, this was the alternate universe. Clearly. But, why? Why hell? Why not some other alternate universe? Something better?

Because hell sucks.

========================

Lo Wang stood in front of a restaurant. He had spent all day in that park, and now he needed to eat something. Hopefully they took Yen here, or he would be... fucked, is a good way to put it.

He opened the doors and walked inside. He sat down at one of the available booths and picked up the menu. There wasn't any Japanese food, but there was American food. 

It'll have to do.

A demon came by his table. This one was black with white highlights on his body that looked like scars. He had small horns on his head.

"Welcome to the Bleeding Butcher Bar and Grill, what drink can I get you started with?" The demon asked with a fake smile. Lo Wang flipped to the drinks menu, and looked for a good option.

"Hmm.. do you have Sake?" He asked. 

(Sake is a Japanese wine, for those that don't know.)

"We do! Would you like a glass?"

"Yes prease." He said, Japanese stereotype shining through. The waiter nodded, wrote something down, and turned back to Lo.

"Alright! Figure out what you wish to order, and when I come by again I'll take your order." Lo nodded, and the waiter left. But before he could get too far, Lo Wang called out to him.

"Hey, wait up!" He called out. The waiter visibly sighed, and turned around.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Do you accept Yen?"

"...no?"

"I see." Lo Wang said, and stood up. He waved to the waiter, and walked to the door. "Sayonara."

He left the establishment. Well, he was kind of screwed. He would have to get a job, wouldn't he? 

But where? He didn't want to work in the food industry because DAMN that shit sucked, and he didn't want to open a dojo because he doubted anyone down here would want to learn Lo Wang's Martial Arts anyway.

Even though that mindset is very dishonorable! Every young man should know Martial Arts!

But he doubted he could afford to open it anyway, even if he wanted to. So he just needed a normal job.

Maybe he could get his job back as an assassin? Take up the mantle once more?

He definitely didn't doubt that they had that sort of thing down here. It was Hell, for crying out loud.

He walked down the street, lost in thought, until he walked right into a telephone pole.

"Dammit!" He yelled out, clutching his nose. Today just wasn't his day. He looked at the offending object.

And on that telephone pole... he saw it. His opportunity.

IMP.

Immediate Murder Professionals.


	2. Man Who Buy Drowned Cat...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lo applies for the job while reminiscing about his past.

Wang stood outside the doors of IMP. This is it.

Ah, he felt like a kid again! Back when he was Little Wang. When he had first gotten his job as an assassin. It felt like yesterday..

36 years ago...

A young Lo Wang stood outside of a building, nervously adjusting his tie. This was his first ever job interview, and it was to become an assassin! An assassin!

God, his parents would not approve.

...If they were still alive, that is. Damn.. He missed his Oto-San and Okaa-San. He hoped they were doing well, wherever they were.

But! No time to dwell on the past! It's time to get moving!

He took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked over to the receptionist lady. She looked him in the eyes.

"How can I help you, Sir?"

"Man who buy drowned cat.. pay for wet pussy." Lo Wang said quietly.

That was the password to see the boss for his interview. He thought it was hilarious, but this is no time for laughter.

The lady nodded. "Come with me." She said, and lead him to an elevator. She called it down.

Lo stood there awkwardly. Should he make small talk? Should he just mind his own business?

He chose the latter. He felt like she didn't want to be bothered.

The elevator came down, and she motioned for him to go inside with her. She clicked the '9' button, and the elevator started moving. 

2.. 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9!

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. The lady nodded at him, and he nodded back. He walked inside the room.

It reminded him of ancient Japanese architecture, which he expected. The wallpaper was made to look like bamboo, and the place had many support beams. Paper lanterns with kanji on them hung from the ceiling, and several swords and katanas decorated the walls, along with plenty of sayings and symbols that are common in Japanese and Chinese culture. The boss sat on a large chair in the middle. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of pants and a katana band.

The back window was covered by a large banner with a yin-yang on it, with the hole on the yin side bleeding, as if it had been shot. 

"Lo Wang?" The boss asked. Lo ran to him, and bowed.

"Sir! My name is indeed Lo Wang!"

"Rise, Son. My name is Akingi Leep, but you are to call me Master Leep. I shall teach you all you need to know for this job. I take it you are inexperienced?"

Lo Wang nodded bashfully. "Yes, s-Master Leep."

"Do not fret, my son. I will take the time to teach you the ways of martial arts." Leep said. Lo Wang breathed a sigh of relief.

"Your first lesson!" Leep yelled, and jumped over to the wall of katanas. He landed, and grabbed a katana off the wall. "A sword is a personal weapon! Never let another soul lay their fingers on it!" He tossed the blade at Lo. Lo caught it.

Leep tossed over the scabbard and the strap. Lo caught both, and attached it all together.

Lo Wang, now equipped with a weapon, could hold his own in a fight.

"I am going to give you a test mission. There is a child-trafficking overlord in the Prefecture just outside of this one, at this address. I want you to go kill him. If you can do that, you are hired." Leep handed a piece of paper to Lo Wang, who took it.

"I won't let you down, Master Leep!" 

Master Leep nodded.

"I trust that you won't, my son."

The present...

Lo Wang wiped away a tear. "Watashi mo anata ga inakute sabishīdesu, masutārīpu.." He muttered.

But.. as he said before.. no time to dwell on the past! He has a job to do!

He breathed in, and opened the door. At the receptionist table, a dog stood there, rubbing her finger on a tiny box. He walked up to her.

She looked up from her phone. A brief look of disgust flashed on her face, but it was replaced by apathy. 

"What, Guy?"

"Is this place for Immediate Murder Professionals?"

"Yes."

"I am here to apply for job." He said.

"You wanna work here?" She asked. He nodded.

"Fill out this form." She handed him a stack of papers. Lo gulped at the size. He nodded, grabbed a nearby pen, and sat in a chair. 

He uncapped the pen, and sighed.


	3. Initiation!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lo Wang takes on a beginner’s target.

Lo Wang slammed the papers down in front of Loona, who was distracted with her phone. She jumped out of her chair in surprise.

"Gee.. Lo Wang needs a break already.. I really am getting old." He muttered.

"Wow.. you actually did all of that paperwork?"

Lo Wang stared.

"Pfftt-hahahahhaha!!!!" Loona burst out laughing. Lo Wang blushed.

"Hey what the hell! What so funny?!" He asked.

"N-None of that was real! It's fake! There's not a form you need to sign; I just need to send you to Blitzø!" She continued laughing.

He knew it was fishy! After all, 'What's your dick size' isn't a very important question for an assassin job!

"You.. you have no honor!" Lo yelled. Loona laughed even harder.

"G-God, there's no way you aren't fucking with me. Seriously, 'Lo Wang'? No honor? You are such a stereotype, dude." Loona giggled some more.

"What about Lo Wang is stereotype?!" He yelled again. This lady!

"Ahh.. it's nothing. Just go in that door over there. Blitzø will interview you." Loona said, pointing to a door off to her side.

Lo Wang nodded, and walked off.

"Aw, where's my thank you?" Loona joked.

"Sayonara, Scumbag." Lo Wang said, and opened the door.

Loona narrowed her eyes. She didn't like this guy that much anymore.

Lo Wang closed the door behind him. Turning to face 'Blitzø', he took a deep breath. It had been a while since his last job interview, and frankly, he was a little nervous. Hell, his last interview was hardly an interview at all, Master Leep just took him in! 

"Who are you?" Blitzø asked. 

"My name is Lo Wang, and I here to apply for job!" He bowed.

"You wanna be an assassin?" Blitzø asked. Lo nodded. "Okay then. Show me what you got. Here's our next target."

Blitzø handed him a piece of paper with a picture of a demon. They were pink with black highlights. They had 3 eyes and wore a t-shirt and skinny jeans. Their hair was long, and he guessed it was a female. Underneath the picture as an address, and a location of where they were last seen.

"If you can kill them by the end of the day, I'll hire you. If you fail to kill them.. I won't hire you. This should be a relatively simple job Mr. Wang, so don't worry yourself over it. Just don't get caught." Blitzø explained.

Lo Wang nodded. "I will not let you down, Master Blitzø."

"Just call me Blitzø! No need for all that formality."

"Then you just call me Lo." Lo Wang said, and left the room.

He looked at the piece of paper, and memorized the location. He put the paper in his pocket, and unsheathed his katana. He ran out of the building and into a nearby alleyway, in which he jumped to a nearby fire-escape ladder. 

He climbed up the ladder, and subsequently, climbed to the roof. He looked out into the city.

Oh, how this reminded him of his first mission..

36 years ago...

Lo Wang stood on top of a rooftop, looking out into the city. His first mission. He was incredibly inexperienced, but Master Leep believed in him. That was all that mattered to him.

He would do it. To make Master proud.

He unsheathed his katana, and touched the blade. 

"Ouch!"

He had cut himself! This thing was damn sharp! 

He stuck his finger into his mouth, and admired the blade instead. It was beautiful. It was clearly very carefully crafted, and if you couldn't see how wonderful this blade was, you a fool!

He sheathed the blade, and ran to the edge of the roof. He jumped and landed on the next one over, and took a second. He had landed directly on his feet without using any shock-absorption tactics, so his feet were on fire.

When he felt good enough to walk, he ran and jumped to the next rooftop. He bent his knees, and kept running. He looked at the paper in his hands.

He put it away, location once again in his mind. He watched the signs, the cars, and the building numbers.

After a few hours of running the rooftops, he saw it. It was across the street.

Taking a leap of faith, he landed in the middle of traffic. He dodged each car, and stood in front of the building.

It seemed to be an old warehouse. There was a giant padlock on the front door, and a window above said door.

He jumped up and grabbed the windowsill, pulling himself up. He unsheathed his katana and smashed the window with it. He hopped in.

When he landed, he heard multiple sounds of guns cocking. He looked around.

3 people flanked him, holding shotguns. 

"State your business." One spoke.

"Uh..."

He ran at one and sliced him in half with the katana. He dodged underneath the gun fire, but felt a stray shot hit his side. Grunting, he dashed and cut up the next one. He circled in on the final guy, and sliced him vertically.

He stood in the middle, and gagged at the entrails. He took a deep breath, hardened his resolve, and looked around the warehouse. 

It was very open. Support pillars were prevalent, but not much else. Some crates, yeah, but nothing, really, aside from that. 

Oh, except the giant chair in the middle, holding a greasy looking man who had 2 little girls surrounding him.

This felt like some bad action movie.

"It seems you've taken out my men." The greasy man spoke.

Lo Wang rushed him, and jumped over his head. He landed behind the chair. 

The person stood up. "What the hell?! How did you-"

Lo Wang sliced him in half from behind the chair. The man looked around to Lo Wang, anger in his eyes.

"You! You- uh.."

His top half detached itself from his lower half.

Lo Wang freed the girls, and he ran back into the night.

Present...

"How the hell can I still recall 'dat?" He spoke out loud.

He got a running start, and jumped to the next rooftop. He had somewhere he needed to be, and he had no time to dawdle. He looked at passing street signs, and building numbers, until he came across an apartment complex.

This is it.

He jumped onto the roof of said complex, and started to descend to the target's window. He covertly opened it up, and slid inside.

All the lights were off. She must be asleep.

He looked around. It was a suburban American household, complete with all the useless knickknacks. He saw a dog sleeping in a nearby bed, but it was a Pomeranian so he had no reason to cause harm to it. There was a large couch nearby. He was definitely in the living room.

Walking forward, he saw that there was a hall leading to the kitchen to his left, and to his right was a hall that had doors in the sides of it.

He snuck around the house, katana held in front of him. Paintings of things he didn't bother to pay too much attention to were sprinkled among walls. He opened each door as slow and as quietly as possible, until he found a room with a bed. 

There was a television and dresser, along with a bedside table and another door. This was the master bedroom.

He walked up to the sleeping body, and moved the blanket away. There was.. nothing.

"Behind you." He heard, and felt his head get bashed in. He fell to the floor, and looked up. 

She had a baseball bat! 

He narrowly dodged another blow, and kicked up. She slammed into a nearby wall. He jumped up, and pulled out his uzi. He fired, but she dodged each shot. She took another swing, and Lo dodged. He did a 180 turn and swiped with his katana.

At first, nothing happened. But then she felt it.

The top half of her body slowly slid off her torso, and onto the floor. Lo cut off her head, and held it in one hand. With his other hand, he re-sheathed his blade.

"You no mess with Lo Wang." He quipped, and rubbed his head. Damn! That bitch hit hard!

He opened the window and jumped out. When he landed on the ground, he rolled and started his sprint. He avoided all security cameras, and jumped over the exit gate.

He ran back to IMP, his mission now complete.


	4. Lo Wang Honored to Work Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lo Wang gets the job! 
> 
> But he’s still homeless.
> 
> Well, at least somebody makes sure that isn’t true.

Lo Wang opened the doors of IMP with his free hand. Loona looked up from her phone and gawked.

“Holy shit! Whose head are you carrying?!” Loona yelled, a hint of fear in her voice.

“Target.” Lo said simply, and walked into Blitzø’s office.

Blitzø snapped awake at the sound of the door opening. Fixing his workstation, he smiled at Lo.

“Ah! Lo! I see you got the target. How did it go?”

“It went well. I was found out, but only by lady. She’s.. dead now.” He said, and lifted up her head.

“I noticed. Well, good job! Welcome to the team, Lo Wang.” Blitzø said, and leaned over his desk to shake Lo’s hand. Lo grabbed it and shook.

Blitzø picked up his phone, and dialed a number. “Hey! Loonie! Call the lovebirds for a family meeting!” He hung up.

“Lo, come with me into the meeting room.”

Lo nodded, and followed Blitzø. Blitzø opened a nearby door and they walked inside, Blitzø sitting at the head of the table while Lo took a spot at the sides.

3 more people came in a little bit later. 2 looked like those Imps he saw earlier, while the other one was Loona. They sat down in their respective seats.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice. Anyway! I’d like you all to meet our new employee, Lo Wang! Say hi to Mr. Wang.” Blitzø spoke like a kindergarten teacher.

“Hello Mr. Wang.” They all said together.

Lo bowed. “Lo Wang honored to work here.”

“Okay, now that that’s out of the way... it’s time to go home. Clock out, and have a good night guys!” Blitzø said. They all nodded and got up out of their seats.

They all went into some sort of breakroom/locker room. It had showers, which his old work also had. Each individual clocked out, except Lo Wang.

“I’ll get you your sheet tomorrow, Lo.” Blitzø said, in reply to Lo Wang’s lost expression. Lo nodded, and left the building.

So.. where would he sleep tonight? He couldn’t ask a coworker; they hardly knew each other. He didn’t have any money, so he couldn’t rent a hotel.

So.. it was time to look for a good alley.

1 hour later...

He was about to give up on looking for an alleyway that didn’t have any crack dealers in them, until he saw a nearby park with a couple open benches.

He immediately took his opportunity, jaywalking to get to it. He walked into the park and over to the closest bench. He lied down on it, and relaxed his body with a groan.

Today had been exhausting. He felt like.. resting...

He was asleep in 3 seconds.

============================

Being woken up was something that Lo Wang despised. Right alongside Zilla, Hung Lo, and taxes. He’d much rather wake up on his own time, thank you.

“Mr. Wang? What are you doing?” Moxxie asked. Millie stood beside him.

“Sleeping..?”

“Okay... why on a park bench?”

“I no live at home.” Lo Wang responded. He didn’t want to admit it.. but it was the truth.

“You’re homeless..?” Millie asked, surprised.

Lo nodded.

Millie whispered something in Moxxie’s ear.

“What?! No! We hardly know him!” Moxxie yelled.

“Please?” Millie asked, using the fabled ‘Puppy dog eyes.’

Moxxie stayed firm for about.. 6 seconds. He sighed, and turned to Lo Wang.

“Look. Mr. Wang. Why don’t you come home with us? We have an extra bedroom.” 

Lo shook his head.

“No thank you. It is dishonorable to rely on others.” Lo replied.

“Look dude, we asked you.” Moxxie groaned.

Lo Wang thought about it. He was in Hell, wasn’t he? If he slept outside he would probably be raped or murdered, and those weren’t things he ever wanted to experience.

Lo Wang nodded his head. “Okay. I will go.”

Millie smiled, while Moxxie faked a smile. “Great. Come with us.”

Lo Wang stood up and stretched his arms. He followed the two imps.

They reached an apartment building in roughly 5 minutes, and Moxxie unlocked the door. Lo Wang was about to remove his shoes, but Millie stopped him.

“You don’t have to do that, we aren’t one of those families.” She said. Lo nodded, but took off his shoes anyway.

The apartment looked relatively similar to the one he was previously in. Useless knickknacks, band posters, framed photos of family members, all of it. 

When you walk in the house, you see options. 2 doors to your left and right, while walking forward lands you in another area where you can pick between the living room and kitchen. The left door was the guest room, right was the bathroom. The living room was on the left while the kitchen was on the right.

And front and center, at the end of the hall, was the master bedroom.

“Guest room is that door, bathroom is that door. Our room is at the end of the hall. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to knock on our door.” Millie said.

“I tank you for ‘dis. Very nice of you.” Lo said. Millie nodded, and smiled.

“Of course. We can’t just leave you out there. It’s hell, after all.” 

Lo Wang chuckled. “‘Dat is true.”

He opened the door to the guest bedroom, and closed it behind him. The room really only consisted of a bed, a bedside table, and a dresser, while the closet had a few boxes inside. 

He sighed, and relaxed his shoulders.

He removed his katana strap, and placed it on the dresser. He removed each weapon from his belt and placed them on the dresser as well. He took one of his uzis and placed it on the bedside table for protection, in case of an intruder. Call him paranoid, sure, but when your life has been in danger as many times as his; you pick up some habits.

He lied down in bed, pulled up the covers, and quickly fell into dreamland.


	5. I like.. sword.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lo Wang finally goes on his first real mission

“Try it again, Lo.” Master Leep said.

An eighteen-year-old Lo Wang held the shuriken in his right hand. Putting it in between his index and middle finger, he chucked it at the target. It flew off course.

“Dammit!” He yelled.

“Now, now, Lo. Calm down a little. I think I know the problem.”

Lo breathed in and out, calming himself. “What?”

“Keep both eyes open.”

Lo stood still. Gee, he felt like an idiot. He grabbed another shuriken, and chucked it at the target again.

Bullseye.

“Wow! Good job Lo!” Master Leep said, ruffling Lo Wang’s hair. “You are learning well.” 

“Thank you, Master Leep. I could not have done any of this without your help.” Lo said. 

“Don’t say that. I was just there to tell you that shurikens were sharp!”

Lo Wang realized that, yes, that’s really all he did. He looked at his hands.

He had done something!

He smiled at the thought. He was learning! Soon he would be a Master!

“Soon, Lo Wang. Soon.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

Master Leep shook his head.

“Come, Lo. Let’s take a break.”

Lo nodded, and followed Leep to the elevator. They both stepped inside, and Leep pressed the button for the lobby.

Once they got to the lobby, Leep lead him to the door outside. They left the building.

Leep brought Lo to a local sushi place, and Lo opened the door for Leep.

“This place has the best sushi in town..” Leep murmured, mouth clearly watering. Lo chuckled.

“Alright, if you say so.”

They sat down, and Lo Wang picked up the menu. Looking over it, he chose some things he would like, and stored them in his memory. A server came by quickly.

“Hello! Welcome to this establishment. What drinks can I get started for you guys?” The server asked.

“Just a water, please.” Leep asked. The server wrote that down.

“And for you?” He asked Lo.

“Uh... just a water, too.”

The server nodded, and walked away. 

She came back later with a bottle of grape juice and a soda can. She handed Leep the bottle and he smashed it on the floor.

Lo Wang woke up and rubbed his head. That was a weird dream..

?

Where was he? He was not in his home.. oh yeah. Right. Hung Lo, hell, IMP, and all that.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he looked at a nearby clock. 6:49 AM.

Too early!

He pulled the covers back up and went back to sleep. Not 5 minutes go by before someone knocked on his door. Groaning, he stood up and opened the door.

“What you need?” He asked, slightly miffed.

“I made breakfast. If you want some come get it. I recommend you eat, because we have to be into work by 8.” It was Moxxie.

Nodding, Lo closed the door. He loaded up all of his weapons and used the bathroom really quickly. He sat down at the dining room table and Moxxie set a plate of sausage and eggs in front of him.

“Itadakimasu.” He said, and bowed his head. He shoveled food into his mouth like a rabid wolf.

Damn, it’s been a while since he’s had a good meal. It felt good to have something in the void that was his stomach.

Drinking his water, he took both dishes to the sink. He took away Millie and Moxxie’s as well, who didn’t complain.

“Okay. Let’s go.” Moxxie grunted. He opened the door and everyone walked outside.

Moxxie locked the door, and turned to the rest of the group. Nobody was moving.

“Well? Get going!” He said. Millie and Lo scrambled to start moving.

<~~——————-~~>

After a relatively uneventful walk, they arrived at the building, and all went inside. They went to the meeting room first.

“Good morning, guys!” Blitzø said to the group.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

“Greetings.”

“Morn.”

Blitzø smiled. “Thank you. Anyway, we’ve got a target! That’s two in the span of a day! How incredible is that?!”

The others clapped and cheered slightly. Truth be told, they didn’t get much business. Which is why they resorted to advertising with a jingle (Blitzø still won’t admit it was shitty) but that didn’t get them much work either.

“Where is this grasshopper?” Lo Wang asked.

“Glad you asked Lo! We have to kill... and entire ballroom! They’re paying us a shit ton of money for this!” Blitzø exclaimed excitedly.

“Oh.. wow. That’s a lot of people.” 

“Sure is! Now, I say we get started right away! Everyone have their weapons?”

Only Lo nodded. 

“Well then... go get them..?”

They all scattered.

<~~——————~~>

Lo stood on a support beam, looking down at the ballroom. He unsheathed his katana and waited for the signal.

“20 cents!” Blitzø yelled. That was the signal!

Lo Wang jumped into the crowd and sliced a person in two with relative ease. He sliced a few more people, but realized it was rather ineffective.

He pulled out his dual uzis and fired away. He ran out of ammo rather quickly.

Lo Wang jumped back up to the support beam, and hoisted himself up. He pulled out his mission launcher, and open fired on the crowd.

“Just-a like Hiroshima!” He yelled, and laughed. People were exploding left and right, and it was awesome!

He switched to his rail gun and jumped back down. He fired a shot and it pierced three people, but narrowly missed Loona.

“Watch it!”

“I apologize!”

He took out the riot shotgun and switched to the alternate fire. It fired out bursts into the crowd. Screaming, blood, gibbing, gunshots. That was all anybody saw and heard in that ballroom.

Lo Wang saw the last guy still standing.

He pulled out his katana and dashed at the guy, slicing through his body like warm butter.

“Ha! You missed-!” Loona started, but saw something odd.

The guy fell to the floor, top half separated from his bottom half. Just as the others before him.

“Woah...”

“Quick question! Why’d you use a sword?” Blitzø asked. “No offense of course.. it just seems... impractical.”

“I like.. sword. That’s a personal weapon.” Lo Wang explained.

Blitzø nodded, unable to figure out what occurred to cause the universe’s color palette to change.


End file.
